Counseling Process · · 7 min read

Better than Balance

In a world that relentlessly demands balance, discover the transformative power of finding true rest in Christ, as explored in the insightful blog 'Better Than Balance'.

I am writing this blog at the end of our fall break, and I was thinking about the teachers at our school.  Right before break, everyone was so ready to go, the students as well as our teachers.  The anticipation of break was a palpable atmosphere in the last hour class I taught.  I tried to get the students up and moving in their learning, engaging in conversation with as little sitting in their desks as I could.  It was so hard to wait for 3:05. For me as well.  My students were lined up at the door at 3:04 waiting for the bell to ring.  FREEDOM!!! WAS IN THE AIR!  

We all put a lot of hope in those treasured days off where we can let work be set aside and enjoy the sweetness of a low key life or lovely vacation. I think we can all sympathize, as we struggle to find that perfect space where we can breathe and keep up with all the “things” in life. If I can just find balance.  

Balance

Balance implies giving the right amount of energy, time, and resources to all the responsibilities as well as the restorative activities in our lives; whether those be time in the Word, vacation, down time, family time, house, yard and car care, extra-curricular activities for kids, diet and menu planning, exercise, serving at church, ministry opportunities, small group attendance, helping our elderly family members, and keeping up with relationships outside of immediate family.  It is a good desire, but don’t forget the life storms that seem to come out of no where like illness, deaths of loved ones, financial or car problems, moving, new babies. You get the idea.  Life is anything but balanced. And yet balance seems to be a goal. 

Many of us see the lack of balance as caused simply by busyness. Sometimes the unbalance in life is because of unbiblical thinking and priorities or just having the wrong goals. SO how do we help? Our counselees will benefit from learning how to please God by learning and practicing principles like understanding their biblical roles, understanding the will of God for their future decisions, or learning biblical decision-making skills.  Life can get overwhelming quickly in this Pinterest perfect, Instagram world and they need some perspective.  Our counselees need help solving real problems in the work settings or in their marriages. We here at Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries have resources to help with those things all while we ask the question…should balance be the goal? 

Rest

For the purpose of this blog I want to look at scripture for something better than balance, when we are in those seasons of multiple storms, the ground we are standing on feels like it is constantly moving and we cannot get that illusive “balance”. I believe there is something better than balance…rest.  Not the rest you get when you nap before dinner or letting your brain go through video games on your phone. Not even rest from the perfect cabin vacation with coffee in the morning, hiking in the woods in the afternoon, and watching the sunset in the evening.  (Although that sounds awesome!!)  There can be some temporary “feels” but real rest comes One way.  Through Jesus Himself.  Let’s look at a well-known scripture and mine some of its depths to find true rest for our soul.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

One of the beauties of biblical counseling is that its power for change comes from the fact that the meaning, methodology, and help for hurting people comes from God’s word, directly out of the text. From the sufficient Word of God.

When I began to study this text, looking for what was real rest, one of the questions I had was why are these famous verses placed exactly where they were in the bible?  It seemed like the verses were so different from what Jesus was saying.  Why?  So that is where I started to look at the context. Who was He talking to? Why? How does this apply to verses 28-30?

Matthew’s purpose

To uncover the depths of our key scripture, there is so much to learn and to marinate on by studying the passages before and after.  Understanding Matthew’s purpose and that design of the book is topical, we see that Matthew’s purpose was to show that Jesus was the prophesied Messiah, who came to fulfill the scriptures, reveal that He was the new and better Moses and He would bring about a new community of believers that show what the kingdom of Heaven was like.  From the sermon on the mount we find out what true righteousness looks like in His upside down kingdom. Jesus calls his followers to have a deeper obedience to the scripture on the heart level. 

Jesus reveals his authority over all illness, demonic beings, nature, and even death. Jesus prepares his disciples to go on mission and in his preparation, he tells them they will come up against three types of people. 

     1.   Those who have doubts about Jesus as Messiah?

     2.   Those who do not believe He is Messiah. 

     3.   Those who do not believe they need a Messiah.

Jesus is speaking to the crowds.

It is here, in chapter 11 that we meet these three types of people. Jesus seems to pivot in verses 25-27, and He prays, thanking God for those who would receive his message. Then turning to the crowd, in verses 28-30, Jesus invites them all into finding their soul’s rest. Inviting them to something better than what they are looking at to find rest.

The first action he calls them to is “Come to me, all you who are weary….”  It is here that He offers us rest…

This action of coming is not as easy as it sounds. Counselee’s may be any of the types of people who are in the crowd, and we need to understand the different heart conditions that keep us and our counselee’s from coming to Jesus.

Doubt

The first is doubt.  The questioning of God, His ways, willingness, and power.  We see John the Baptist is doubting in Jesus the Messiah, is He the one who was promised? (Matt 11:2-6) Will he do what He says? Can He do what He says?  Why is this happening?  It may have been hard for John to see what Jesus was doing as he was isolated, under great pressure from worldly forces and he needed others to remind him who Jesus is and what His is doing. John needed help remembering his purpose, that it was not for nothing.  John handled his doubt by asking his believing friends to intervene, he came to Jesus through others who could lift him up to their King!! Some of our believing counselees and friends may have doubt, they may need help coming to Jesus even while the doubts remain.  God is always faithful, when we draw near to Him, he will draw near.  We can help our counselee’s draw near through His Word, His promises and His Spirit.

Unbelief

The second thinking that keeps us from Coming to Jesus, is unbelief. (Matt 11:16-24). Jesus is talking with the crowds again and he is asking them what is that they want?  Those with unbelief were creating scenarios of why they would not believe Jesus was Messiah, even with all that was done in their cities and Jesus calls them out.  Unbelief is serious and it keeps us from coming to Jesus.  Unbelief can come in the forms of bitterness, unforgiveness, worldly desires and unrepentant sin.  Jesus wants to give rest to those who are heavy burdened by their sin.  He promises to forgive and remove all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) and be cleansed (Psalm 32; 51).

Self-Sufficiency

The last thinking that keeps us and our counselee from coming to Jesus is self-sufficiency. (Matt 12:1-14) Another term maybe legalism.  Right after Jesus’s plea to the crowds, in the next chapter, Matthew describes the rejectors of Jesus, the Pharisees.  There are two accounts of Jesus providing and healing on the Sabbath and the Pharisees are quick to condemn the Son of God of breaking the rules.  Jesus rebukes them in each case quoting the Old Testament, saying you missed the point, I desire mercy and not sacrifice.  The Pharisee’s could not see who Jesus was because He broke their idea of how to be righteous. The Pharisees did not see their need for Jesus. They believed in their own righteousness, they were self-sufficient.  Needing no one or anything outside of themselves to live good rule keeping lives. Jesus challenged everything about what they believed was right and good. And that led to unrest, anger, plotting and finger pointing. I wonder if some of our counselee’s find it hard to come to Jesus as they have the sin of self-sufficiency which can come from the wrong view of Jesus, the distorted view of their purpose to be a visible representation of an invisible God and their inability to accomplish this goal apart from Christ.

Conclusion

When our counselees, friends or ourselves are looking for balance in life, because the ground seems to be shifting, we need to come to Jesus.  Jesus offers us rest as He invites us to come to Him in our doubt, unbelief and self-sufficiency.  There is nothing that can keep us from His love, His love endures forever (Rom. 8:35-39) and yet we have our own thinking and believing that keep us from coming to our good King, who offers us something better than balance, true rest.  We can take up His yoke, come under his gentle authority and learn from him through His example and His word.  His burden is light, and we can find rest for our souls.  Something way better than “balance”. 


Photo by César Couto on Unsplash

 

 

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